I know that there's no easy to maintain. But I will not go out. I do not want to do. I want to be found. Everything was perfect Sun But what is happening? I'm not me anymore. I am no longer what I was. And I wonder if I really want to be, as I am now. But I was happy? I have many acquaintances and many friends. I know so many people I'm happy and I like to have. Hardly any of them know how I was before. You know neither my nor my deepest ideals stored soul. Before, I was not happy. Am I happy now? It feels good to talk. I talk a lot and be happy. But rarely about what really moves me. Many believe to know me well, but they all know only my facade. That which I claim to be. Is it really me? I used a colorful bird. I was free, and I was me. I had my ideals. And I have done for them. My ideals are gone. Just like that. Where are they now? I believed to be happy to see that I'm not. Probably will never be.
And all the time there is this longing. This yearning deep in my heart to love. After nothing but unconditional love. I've never loved before. As far as I read it never come. Never let them come. I need to fear anyone. And even if I need someone, I can not admit that. I am afraid to bind myself to someone, afraid to lose him then. But I think everything has its meaning and if I make a miracle, then I will get it. And if my wonder is someone who understands me, then I will get to know him. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I guess everything is just right as it is. And I'm just the one I always wanted to be. I have friends who love me. And I myself I myself have not found it, but I at least know that I'll never make it right somehow. I do not believe in fate. Everything is as it should be. His will and must!
I'm like a Porcelain doll, you hold me too tight, I break,but it keeps me loose falls, I go and break it.
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